Oh em gee. YES! I could have written this post! This is the story of my life for the past two months!
Giving you advice would be like the blind leading the blind! Lol.
But all I can say is, YES! You have articulated my feelings exactly. And it's not like my friends won't be there but I feel as though I have consumed so much of their time and energy talking about my issues with H, that if they were to do the same with me, I would imagine that I would dread picking up the phone because I would already know what they were going to talk about.
What helps a little with me is thinking about short-term goals because when I think of the longevity of the situation, I get depressed. It's difficult for me to actually believe things will change and get better because all I know now is what is going on in the present - and it's not good. When I say short-term, I mean like, having plans for that particular day. Yesterday I did this I was extremely productive - accomplished way more than I had set out - and was proud of it.
A good friend said to me when I was feeling depressed - or the "wave," as you've described - that the depression and sadness caused by my current situation with H is caused by merely misunderstanding. Misunderstanding that life is supposed to conform with my hopes and dreams of what it should be. My hopes and dreams were that I'd marry H and live happily ever after. Your hopes and dreams were that you'd be announcing your pregnancy. Neither of those things happened. And now we're experiencing the emotional shock that occurs when our hopes and dreams conflict with reality. And we mentally torture ourselves by retracing our steps and thinking about the woulda, coulda, shoulda's that could have prevented us from winding up here in the first place and that can aid us in not making the same mistakes in the future.
I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand what that reason it and our misunderstanding is causing us pain and emotional discomfort.
You are not alone and there are plenty of people out there that are miserable because of the PD in their life - myself included!
I do the same thing with my friends - I think about the crazy, dysfunctional relationships they have been in and how it's easier for them to comment on my relationship than to do anything about their own situations.
FinallyWokeUp - feel free to PM and dump on me anytime! I'm in the exact same situation in terms of friends and have been handling it the same way by withdrawing because I don't want to burden them. My family support is virtually zilch so I can relate to you on that as well.