Feeling so sad as my daughter was hospitalized after calling her husband to say she was driving drunk with kids. He rescued her and she agreed to go to detox and she was diagnosed with BPD. The diagnosis is not a surprise as those who have read my previous posts will know but I feel an incredible sadness.
My daughter is 31 and although we have bouts of problems ( drinking, gambling and poor relationships) she has been my greatest support as I coped with her brother, also BPD. She was a gifted child and had a great career in pharmacy where she was a manager by 25. She had a beautiful son now 9 who we are very close too.
Four years ago she met a man, possibly with NPD and fell pregnant. Her life began to spiral out of control and is still spiraling though not hit rock bottom yet. She had her son and met a man, who by far is not perfect but loves her and she makes false accusations about him, turns everyone against him but she married him. She blames, projects and devalues him as much as she can.
She leaves him or kicks him out every few weeks, mostly recently moving herself and kids to a regional area staying with a friend with mental health and alcohol pr obs. my grandson was been to 3 schools in 5 weeks. When her husband picked her up he took her to hospital, cared for the baby stood by her and bought my grandson to me. I enrolled him back into school he had been in and he settled into routine her.
After detox for 5 days she was released with follow ups for rehab, therapy and medical care. That day the father of her second child who had him on a access visit refused to return him and is commencing legal action to gain custody of him. She went home to her husband for 1night and came home to me.
This morning she wakes up and despite our discussions about allowing my grandson to stay with me and stay at same school she started saying that she was taking him away with her as he can't bear to be separated from her. She doesn't believe she needs rehab or a good therapy program and I know from past experience she will change therapist to suit herself and when challenged move on to another. She left today without me being able to say goodbye.
I am devastated at how my family is being torn apart and that I am powerless over any of this. Not only is my grandson (youngest) being denied contact with his mum, myself and his favorite aunt my older grandson is being moved away from his supports ( school and us )
BPD has stolen much of the joy from my life through its grip on my mother and at least two of my children.....sorry but had to share with someone