I once dated a (suspected Histrionic) man who - when caught with another woman in his apartment at 5:30 in the morning - tried telling me that even though he had slept with her, it wasn't really cheating, because he felt that the two of us weren't actually together as a couple anymore. That he
felt we were more like friends, than boyfriend-girlfriend.
Why I love this site: no matter how much I mix my ex, or begin feeling vulnerable and insecure, I come here and read some anecdotes to remind me of why I should be glad things are over. This one in particular rang very close to home.
While I cannot prove she ever directly cheated on me (I did find her flirting with a coworker at a work party once), she would often say that if she felt that things were over in the relationship, she'd begin to "stray and flirt". Ironically, she was incredibly paranoid of me cheating and often made accusations.
I remember one night when she was laying next to me in bed and we were chatting. She suddenly lets out with "Well, I don't think that we're really boyfriend and girlfriend. We're more just friends." She might as well have said "I'm really a man and my name is Bob", it was about as random and surprising. We were always loving and affectionate to each other, but she judged virtually every romantic component of the relationship based on her definition of what sex should be. At any time, however, she was allowed to change this definition (of both sex and what our relationship was) and I had no say. Looking back on it, especially after reading this thread, I'd imagine she was having thoughts/temptation about cheating. Hindsight is 20/20, huh?
The unPD I dated before her also had an obsession with me cheating; both would accuse me of "being too good" to them, so therefore I must have an agenda. She ended up striking up a rather intimate and close "friendship" with my friend's husband (this is before she admitted that she had been "the other woman" in many past relationship and had, indeed, cheated on at least one of her boyfriends..with a good friend of hers - this is the very thing she'd accuse me of!). She also had a particular interest in the handyman that I'd have work on my house. He had even commented on it in the past, how she was abnormally "friendly" with him.
If there's one lesson I've learned in life it's that those who accuse the most *usually* have the most to hide.