Booey it is hard and you are on the right path for you.
Are you doing things for yourself? Sometimes we can get caught up in worrying about another person and forget we need to take care of ourselves. I really do believe until you love yourself fully, it's hard to move on.
As for normal people or couples, no one is. Everyone has a cross to bear. Everyone has something that is hard to go through. I hope you know you are not alone in this.
Have you tried to go NC? This might be a good choice for you. You'll be able to focus on yourself.
Stay strong and remember to love yourself!