Coping with Personality Disorders > Separating & Divorcing

Separation and Divorce in Ohio

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TOBATTTPD:
My understanding is that my county does not do "fault" divorces, my H is now threatening me and treating me so badly that I went to see what my rights were this week. She recommended I move out, I have been looking but no farms to rent in the area for my animals. My H is calling an attorney tomorrow and is going for full custody of our daughter, he has been diagnosed with a personality disorder, even though he has completely ignored her for two weeks. I am limited on funds, but do have his credit cards, but they are in his name, however we are married. He has been financially starving me for years now, and I don't have enough to live on for the next month if I file and move out. I have no family to help, I would love some advice, for my H has put me through the ringer, I am so tired of feeling this chaios and his sleeping all the time, watching tv all the time, hates it when I ask for help, be a team player, I just can't do it anymore, he emails me when he is upstairs in the same house, it is so weird and I would love some advice.

2bad:
File and have your lawyer get temporary orders as quickly as possible. That will spell out who moves, who pays for what, and temporary custody and parenting time. I wouldn't leave until those things are in place. If you leave your child there while you move, it could help him get primary custody. I know it is hard, but stay put until you have the temp orders.

laurena82:
I would also add/suggest looking up a phone number of a woman's shelter and through there finding someone to give you some advice re: where to turn/resources available to you, etc.  Even if you cant find a phone # of one in your county, then go to one nearby county, and they may still be able to get you routed to resources closer to you.

(eg, you dont necessarily need to move into a woman's shelter--I'm just saying they deal with people in similar situations as you re: needing to move out and lacking resources.........they're familiar with what's available and which directions to point you towards)

BEST WISHES !

kitty:
do not move out until you get temp orders that will spell out how much you get to live on from his salary after the divorce is filed. Do not leave that house. Or if you have  to because of domestic violence. Call the police and have them escort you to a women's shelter. Make sure you get a copy of the report and if he makes any mark on you the cops will arrest him for domestic violence which is a felony and will go well for you in court.

Ohio is no fault. You will get living expenses during the divorce. After, the assets are split. It is an equitable distribution state. If you are over the ten year mark it is considered a "long term Marriage" and you are entitled to a share of his Social Security when it comes due. I know not much help right now. But it will help long term.

Don't leave the daughter with him. Take her.

I understand that there are quite a bit of assets. Get as much information on the assets as you can. Bank accounts, pensions, cash, title to the house...all of it. You must have a checking account or does he have that in his name also. If you do not have a credit card then it is time to file for one. Do it before he files. They will use his/your assets to determine if you will be given a credit card. Do it now before he files.

kitty

I personally would not file for divorce until you have some stashed cash. Remember, an attorney is in the business of making money off of clients like you. Be very careful about this attorney. Go talk to a couple more. Don't rely of just the opinion of one.

I divorced in Ohio.

I know I know, it seems hopeless to live with him but for the long term a divorce must be planned.

I am concerned that if you use his credit cards, since they are in his name, he could get you for fraud. You need your own credit card. I realize you probably have been making phone and internet charges with his credit cards. Well, that may be OK since it is probably for the house hold goods. However, if you walked into a store using his card. I don't think that would work.

Although he doesn't want to admit it right now. What is his is yours and visa versa. In a court of law. Unless there is a pre-up which I kinda doubt.

Be Strong. My H has threatened to divorce me so many times I can't even count them anymore. Then he realizes that he would have to support me and give me half the assets and then he shuts up. Oh to stay for the mortgage!

Kitty

TOBATTTPD:
HI Kitty and all, thank you for your help. He is now writing this in email..

I asked " " if I could take her out this evening. I wanted to take her to Pizza Hut. She said that she didn't know what your plans were.

You left early this morning with "". You persist in taking " " from our home without telling me where for whole days at a time.

I have repeatedly asked you to ask for my permission and keep me informed as to where you are taking her and you do not. You seem to have difficulty communicating anything to me in a civilized manner so I asked that you communicate with me via email.

If she is gone overnight, I will call the police and report you both missing the following morning. My hope is that once I speak with my attorney, I can get a court order to make you capitulate.

He is behaving really odd and is not blinking plus has flat affect. My attorney was not in today, but will call her on Monday. I got a phone and he is starving me out canceled all his credit cards and lied about taking care of the animals. I went to the doctors and they asked me to get an emergency out incase he becomes violent. She said he will not get custody due to his personality disorder. I cannot deal with his behavior, he told me he does not want a divorce but that we are divorcing because it is all my fault. (sigh) He did not blink at all when he was speaking with me, reminded me of that Holmes guy without nodding off. Thank you for your help and support, I am very stressed because of this and I appreciate the input.

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