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out of bpd marriage, learning about CPTSD

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seaweed:
I guess I have a very typical story, married a very high functioning ubpd wife for 15 years, endured alot of abuse, gaslighting, rages, lying, I had no boundaries eventually.  Train wreck of an ending brought about by her infidelity.  Children traumatized and I have been dealing with protecting them to the extent I can.

I got out of the marriage 3 years ago, but still not doing so well, haven't dated anyone.  I was on bpdfamily boards for a while and it was very good.  Somewhere I heard about CPTSD and googled it, and lo and behold this site came up.

Sometimes the experience and aftermath of loving a PD individual can't really be understood by those who haven't lived it, so one of the things I'm looking for is some community with others who understand and get it.  I'm more in the "aftermath" stage, though I still deal with the crazy one because we are coparenting.

Like many of us, after learning my spouse had bpd, later it became clear that my mom had low functioning bpd and dad may have been narcissistic.

Self-isolation is a big issue for me now.

Anyways, thanks for this website and see you on the boards.

Varja:
Welcome, seaweed . . .

Glad to know you got past the physical separation process, and sorry you're still hurting three years after the fact. I'm sure you're presented with unique challenges due to the coparenting relationship, too.

Hang in there for the sake of your child. A loving, supportive, caring parent can often have a huge impact in countering typical BPD abusive behaviors.

Check out the toolbox for help in coping with lingering effects of your relationship, and don't hesitate to jump in when you're ready.

outsider:
I feel your pain. It's good to know that we are not alone in this.

MakingChanges:
BPD is awful to deal with.  And they're issues are exhausting.  It's all about them, all the time.  Glad you found us.

InItForTheLongHaul:
Welcome.  I started out at that other board too and so glad I found this one!  I went into my relationship with my wife as a person who didn't really understand boundaries.   I am still to an extent co-dependent though I'm starting to recover with the help of therapy and several support forums.   Dealing with a wife that has BPD/NPD characteristics is extremely hard and confronting our own issues that came with us from our family of origin(FOO) can be painful. 

So hang in there.  There is hope.  You have had a rough ride but you are in the right place.

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