Coping with Personality Disorders > Chosen Relationships

A letter sent

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Colo77:
After all the emotional ups and downs and becoming completely exhausted I finally did what many of us think of doing and today sent the letter ending things with a BPD that I feel deeply for.  I was very kind but I that probably won't matter.  It was one of the hardest things I have done in my life and I will continue to struggle with it at times but the weight feels like it has be lifted.  My life can be mine again.

Although I only posted on here several times I read hundreds of posts from people like me and realized that my feelings and experiences were far from isolated.  I would like to thank everybody who helped whether they realize they did or not.  Best of luck to each and every one of you.  You are amazingly strong.

NewfMom:
Don't forget yourself, Colo77 - YOU are an amazingly strong person! It takes a great deal of intestinal fortitude (guts) to do what you did, knowing that it hurts, but you're better off for it. I'm not saying that's the solution for everyone dealing with a PD partner, but it was my solution, too. I can completely relate to how you feel.

Struggling is okay, because this kind of struggle will eventually come to a halt; the alternative is a never-ending struggle in trying to live with someone who, more often than not, sees his or her loved ones as the "enemy." Soon, you will revel in your newfound capacity to breathe again.

Brava, Colo77 - you deserve some serious kudos!  :applause:

Patricio:
Congratulations Colo77! I did almost the exact same thing when I separated from my EXbpd. It was the hardest thing in my life as well and to be honest I still struggle almost daily, but less and less every day. Stay Strong and brace yourself because here comes the wave of vengeance that I'm sure you know is coming. I wrote mine very nice as well and had a glimmer of hope of a friendship afterwards but that all came to crash and burn afterwards. Unfortunately you saving your life will be viewed as blatant abandonment by them. But you know your doing it for the right reasons, to save YOU.

If you have doubts going forward just do what I do and that's return here to either write and get it off your chest or just read to remind yourself why you are doing this. STAY STRONG Colo!!  :thumbup:

tcall398:
Congratulations!! I am so happy for you! I left my PD bf a week and a half ago and every day I have more realizations why I should have left sooner. It may be hard at first but you did the hardest part and youre on your way to freedom, happiness and a BETTER life. Stay strong and congrats again!

Colo77:
Thanks for all the support!  It's still extremely difficult, my mind wanders to all of the positives about her and yearns for a return of those desperately.  I still have those irrational moments when I think "I could have helped more, done things differently, made all of this better".  I wanted to help fix what was broken and help her happier, more amazing qualities shine internally and for the whole world.  Ultimately I know I can't do that, no one can, but it will take some time to firmly convince myself this true and not my fault.  I do get feelings of happiness knowing that the letter is sent and I said much of what I needed to say.  I did what I needed to for ME and I had forgotten how important that was until I made the choice to heal myself.  Yes, it's going to be a roller coaster.  There will be tears, feelings of regret, moments of clarity and all the other mixed up emotions that this has caused but I realize time will fix the pain.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you all!!

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