Coping with Personality Disorders > Chosen Relationships

I think I have fleas

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kitty:
On another thread I was enlightened with the idea that my H, even before we began discussion of buying produce in Alaska versus Indiana, had a bone to pick with me. That bone being that "I abuse him" and with that statement I obligingly jumped, fell, was pulled into the hole with him.

I did not, in hindsight, throw a tantrum of defense but just hung up on him after he would not take "no I do not." for an answer. Subsequent he does not want to talk about it. Typical of my H's way of dealing with conflict.

So where are the fleas.

I went to review the new apartment and found that my next door new neighbor not only throws empty beer cans around his patio but cigarette packs as well. Along with that I saw staring at me from the sliding glass door a approx. 125 pd bull terrier (the original kind that looks like it belongs in a Jurassic Park movie) and in which pit bulls are spawned) These can be very dangerous dogs. Also, there was another dog, young, less than a year that promises to be about 85 pd when full grown. Not a pit.

I got on the phone with my H and I (here comes the fleas) I started ranting about that I will kill both those dogs if they get within 50 feet of our 23 pd jack Russell Mollie. My husband, hung up on me. Haven't heard from him since.  I have complained to the management (oh, but no one has ever complained before!) I told the woman, I suspect that the neighbors are scared of these dogs and don't want trouble (the trouble being not the dogs but the owners of these dogs that would have killers as pets anyway).

Now I have nothing against big dogs, what I have a problem with is owners that have big dogs that also throw empty beer cans and cigarette packs out in the yard. JEEZ! This is supposed to be a luxury apartment complex. There are breed restrictions. And I am sure the beer cans count also. If the dogs were trained fine. But do I see alot of training going on. NO. The owners aren't even trained themselves to live in harmony with their neighbors.

So I feel I got fleas. I am ranting, hyperventilating about this move....ready to believe that the neighbors dogs are going to kill my dog...I am in a panic.

Are these fleas.

Or am I just so totally overwhelmed with life in general and with absolutely no help from the H as to what to do. I am frantic.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Are these Fleas!

kitty

Lala1120:
I'm not sure if they're fleas as much as you may be overwhelmed by your PDh as well as have legitimate concerns about these dogs.

I, for one, have handled hundreds of pit bulls and pit bull mixes through volunteering at a local dog shelter. I have owned pit bulls and am a big fan of the breed but not a big fan of many of the owners. I believe that dog could be dangerous if trained to be that way or if the owner has not taken the time or effort to properly socialize his dog.

That said, to me it doesn't sound as though you're afraid of the dogs merely because of their size or breed but because based on your neighbors' lack of effort and disregard toward maintaining your shared living space, that they may also be complacent in training and handling their dogs. This is a serious matter, given their size and potential to do harm if not properly trained and/or socialized. With that, I don't blame you and I would be concerned as well. All dog owners, regardless of breed, should be accountable for their dogs, especially when living in an apartment or condominium. Just look at what happened to Diane Whipple by those Presa Canarios, which made headline news!

It sounds as though you're already on edge with the way things are going with your H and now you're worried about the safety or you and your own pets should your neighbors' pets happen to come in contact.

I think it's good that you contacted management. I would follow up with them about that. In the mean time, take a deep breath. Everything will be okay. Nothing is permanent, even our current stressors.

 :bighug:

NewfMom:
Lala1120 - thank you for chiming in. I've also worked with dogs of all breeds, including pit bulls, and also believe that the hype - with some highly publicized exceptions - is exactly that. I hesitated to reply because I was afraid of coming across the wrong way. You articulated exactly what I was thinking.  :yes:

Kitty, I second Lala's take on the situation. This is just another concern that is stacked at the top of an already high pile of concerns - it's no wonder you're on edge! Even though the dogs might be fine, it's still wise to be vigilant. If possible, don't leave Mollie outside at all without supervision. Too often, owners of dogs of all breeds - especially toy breeds, believe it or not - have no clue about socializing or training their dogs.

I think you did the right thing by contacting management. Keep an open dialogue with them.

And, I know I'm parroting Lala by now, but BREATHE.  :bigwink:

kitty:
Lala and Newfmom,

I just sent you a long e mail in reply to thank you for your sanity. But the computer ate it. I don't know why that is but I do know this is not the first time.....but OK

I'll work on settling down. It has just been a very hard week especially with the heat thrown on top of everything.

Also, I am relatively new to this site and new to all the ins and outs of PD. I am having to bring back memories from my FOO and deal with my H and try to understand all this behavior has a name and it is called a mental illness.

So all this information is just scaring me to death. And knowing that my H is truly sick and I have absolutely no control over it. Except to leave him and that just isn't going to happen right now.

It is just too much sometimes.

But again, thank you to both of you. And I will watch after the dog. She is very well trained (our dog).

kitty

corky:
I hate to even mention this as it might give you something else to worry about. A couple of months ago, my (P/A) boyfriend & I were both experiencing intense itching, especially at night. I thought we had fleas too because there had been several dogs at my house (I do dog sitting) but we both researched on the web & determined that we had SCABIES. I won't go into detail about how awful it is & how much I spent on doctors and medication (all which I paid for) and how long it took to clear up. The thing about scabies is they are transmitted through very close skin contact & we both were wondering how we could have gotten them. Now months later I realized that he cheated on me & then gave me scabies cause he didn't know he had them at first. I hope you have fleas...they are much easier to get rid of and much less painful. Plus you don't get them from a CHEATER.

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