Day 6 of no contact, initially he was belligerent and indifferent, acting like he was the injured party, our sole conversations regarding our daughter has ended with him bawling at me and calling me a control freak, accusing me of bullying him for the love of GOD
Anyway, today I had to initiate contact as my daughter had a party so would not be going out with him at the arranged time.
I was brusque and business like and delivered my message like a robot. he was crying....and he said it was killing him, he never wanted to be away form the family, he would be back in a shot blah blah.
I told him where we were was a direct consequence of his selfish self serving behaviour...he accused me of being hard, which I hated cos it is so far from the truth. I told him I had to evolve to his hostility and to accept that he could never love me or care for me in the way I needed. I told him he should be happy that he was finally living the bachelor life he had claimed to be living on the swinger sites. I END CALL.
Come home to get all three older kids sending me the same text. and here it is.
'm sorry how things have turned out for us all. I never meant for any of it. I wish it was all so different. I'm also sorry that life living with me was sometimes trying and u all probably seen things you shouldn't have. Looking back I thought I was doing right by u all but perhaps I wad selfish. Forgive me please as I knew no better. I tried my best by you all and I am sorry that I failed. I love you all always and am here for you all.
Now bear in mind he has never sent anything like that to them before, nor has he ever acknowledged wrong doing, that only two days before he was screaming like a maniac and sending the kids vile texts to pass on to me.
I have always chased him, made first contact, been the one to mend arguments regardless of their origin..I think he see's all this shit like a power struggle.
My neighbour saw him earlier and said he looks gaunt and tired...so I guess he didnt secure an adequate source of narcissistic supply wherever he ended up