« Last post by torsornin on Yesterday at 07:04:28 PM »
Ok not REALLY diagnose him, as I know we can't. But I can't seem to give him a neat category so I can read up on it and learn more and develop some more strategies
(I admit one of my own coping strategies are to learn about EVERYTHING to the N'th degree - so I can say - OK this is their _____ talking, just walk away, or it's not personal - this helped me dealing with my BPD/Bi polar mother and not taking things to heart that she said/did as I got older)
That said I thought perhaps I could list the things that my dad did/does etc that either drives me crazy or even just seems 'off'. I know a lot of you have way more experience in dealing with personality disorders beyond what the internet has to offer and describe, so maybe you can say, "hey this is a lot like my PD person! They have ____" Not perfect, not a psych diagnosis, but there is no way my dad will EVER go get diagnosed, or medicated, cause he is JUST FINE, it is the REST of the world!
so he does/has done these things
1. Currently he is WAY clingy and kept calling/texting/emailing me EVERY day, to talk about NOTHING.
2. Did not respect a polite boundary that I set up - please dont call between the hrs of 430pm and 730pm my time. - or he did, for a week
3. Was somehow stalking me (via google) knowing exactly when I got home from work and would call me within 10mins of me getting through the door.
4. In the past he was a FB friend, was inappropriate, making rude/inappropriate comments on my fb page - he was warned several times to stop it, in the end I had to unfriend my own father. He has tried to become friends since then on FB - I refuse to be drug into that ever again
5. Started 'following' me on google+ making weird comments on pictures that made no sense in the context of the pic. ( I ended up blocking him for stalking)
6. Tells me one story, then turns around and tells my husband a different one about the same thing. Changes stories all the time.
7. Needs to be the center of attention
8. Has to have everyone think that he is the smartest person around.
9. Brags A LOT.
10. Looses or quits jobs all the time because "his boss doesnt like him" (because he wont listen to the boss because he knows EVERYTHING about his job and how to do it" - he is particularly awful if the supervisor/boss is younger than him.
11. Always living at the very edge of poverty - or in it
12. In the past has been VERY poorly groomed and smelled horrid - since he remarried it is much better.
13. When I got engaged, he started talking about getting engaged (to his fairly new GF at the time)
14. When I picked my wedding date (only 5 months in the future) he got engaged - set his wedding for 1.5 years later - If I brought up any aspect of my wedding - he would talk about his and disregard mine (example, I picked the wedding venue - he copied the idea (at a state park) and then went on endlessly about his party afterwards.....
15. Anal expulsive, to the point of being a hoarder. Very dirty in housekeeping. So much so, my mother had a court order so I couldnt go to his house on my weekends with him and had to stay at my grandparents. (I complained) I also remember some sort of sexual abuse of me at the time, but not all the way - I dont want to remember it all.
16. Paranoid delusions. As a kid he would tell me that people wanted to steal me away, or take my $$ (they really didnt) He would think people were following him trying to steal his hunting places among other things.
17. volatile relationships with family members. He will get angry and then refuse to talk to them for YEARS or ever again over a small transgression (my aunt said he was calling too much (he was bored, calling her every day like he was to me) he hasnt spoken to her in like 6 years or so.
(I do think my his mother was BPD and that she was abusive to him as he grew up)
18. This is more of a learning disability but he can NOT write, spell, use grammar to save his LIFE. His handwriting is very poor. He leaves out words, thoughts and more. He can however read well. He speaks well.
19 LOVES to come and save the day
20 - treated me like a boy when I was growing up. Making me dress like a boy, comb my hair like a boy.
21. He used to use me to make himself look good. Volunteering me for things without asking me if I wanted to participate, having me go on high adventure things, then if I couldnt/didnt want to go, made me feel like a total jerk and looser for changing my mind "you made me look like a fool, your tore my heart out and stomped on it" -to a 12 year old girl.
22. Brags about the 'good' things he does for me, or what a 'good' father he is. sometimes out and out, other times more subtly.
23. Used to just drag me around, dropping in on family/friends visiting on sunday afternoons, when I was a kid. Rarely calling them and asking if it was OK.
There is more things. I just cant think of them right now.
Any thoughts on what PD he might have?