Thank you for the clarity VI! Your second suggestion sounds more in DH's nature. The uPdBro would likely damage our property if confronted directly. To give you a better idea of what DH has been up against, uPDBro has targetted DH for over 30 years. DH is kind, funny and is well respected in his field. UPDBro is aggressive, mean spirited, possessive and paranoid and wears the smirk which is only turned into a smile when the need to charm arises.
DH's problem throughout life I think has been his parents' actions when dealing with uPDBro. Instead of uPDBro facing consequences for trashing DH's possessions, stealing, unrelenting verbal torment etc. his parents just wrote it all off as sibling rivalry. Still do! And to make matters worse, knowing that uPDBro had issues (probably to do with their divorce), they sought to 'attach' him to DH probably hoping DH would 'lift him up'. Eg. Changing school to be with DH. Sadly, DH was doing really well in his new school in his final years only to have uPDBro torment him infront of peers as well as the unrelenting BS at home.
The next 'attachment' in an attempt to fix the uPdBro, was to employ him in the family company. DH and OK Bro had been working for their father for many, many years with DH on the verge of being internationally recognised for his efforts and expertise. Against their pleading, knowing full well the train wreck to come, their father employed uPDBro. Since that time, CEOs have tried and tried to convince fil of how much of a menace to staff and customers alike uPDBro is, let alone brothers and other staff. But he refused to listen. Still does! DH and OK Bro are watching their whole adult life commitment to their father and his company falling apart all because of their agro brother and their father's denial. The whole workplace has been on eggshells for years and the relief only comes when DH is back in the office when laughter is heard again. But now DH is too exhausted and is adamant now that he's never going to work with uPDBro ever again. He knows he needs to look after his health which is now suffering again because guess what, his father told uPDBro about OK Bro's visit. But judging from posts, I don't imagine that a surprise for many here.
Oh, and to answer your question, uPDBro just emailed hubby directly to say he was visiting, but no mention of accommodation. Just his usual bullying style of putting people on the spot and unsettling them. If he doesn't get his way, he either lashes out or acts the victim.
So anyway, OK Bro is confronting fil with a WTF type of conversation. We'll be cheering him on from afar. Thanks again for the advice! Stay tuned