So I've been NC with my NPD father and VLC with my en-stepmom and GC older stepsis for about three months now (since Nf's last and probably worst rage).
----It was working well until around the first week of March when the hoovering began for his 50th birthday party - started with news a few days prior from my GC sis about cousin getting into our Uni, then with a text inviting me on only three days notice to "daddy's" party. No word from him or en-stepmom about the blow up. I scramble for a reply and someone suggested faking plans on that day (oh you mean THIS Saturday?? Much too soon, I already have x and y planned). I say something along those lines and GC spits back paragraphs of searing text about how I need to "reexamine my priorities" and that I need to stop "alienating myself from the family because it's all we have".
I (miraculously and unprecedentedly) stood my ground and calmly but firmly explained how relationships have 50/50 balance and how even though I hadn't done everything right, I had owned up to my mistakes and wasn't responsible or his blow up - and until he addressed it it was probably better for me to keep away. No response. Then, within about 30 seconds (I know, subtle), en-stepmom texts asking if I'd "like to come to his 50th birthday party, it's nautical themed and he's leaving right after for three months to work". Like ... is the fact that it's nautical themed supposed to negate a solid hour of insane rage and expletives? I respond that even though she's probably already read it, she should look at the answer I sent GC sis, any then attach pics of the text to her. It's not like I'd been especially close with them or seen them often enough that him being on a work trip would have any effect on our level of (non)communication.
----Anyway, long story short I resisted hoovering and yesterday I get THIS.
"_____, I hope all is well for you. I hope that your are able to heal from all the stuff between us.
_____ I am writing you to let you know I am reassigning the bedrooms. I decided to put your furniture in the room ____ [little sister] currently occupies. I am placing _____ [little sis] in the room you used before so that she has a bigger closet. When you come you can re-arrange the furniture in your new room as you deem appropiate. I will help you move stuff if you need to."
And this text two hours later from en-stepmom.
"Hiiiiii I just want to let you know that I miss you and love you soo much 😊"
Double pronged attack, as usual. Also the first time I think ever that she has actually initiated "positive" contact instead of complaining about me not doing so.
I give zero response to either, and hear from little sister (who always kind of was the secondary scapegoat but who I suspect may be turning into the primary in my absence) that "Dad is switching our rooms cause I kind of got in trouble"
----I feel bad now because it's obvious that he has been trying to draw me out/punish me for not attending and even though it doesn't really have any effect on me (upon leaving the house after his rage I was preparing to never step foot in it again, much less my old room), it is starting to affect my little sister. He has a history of using insanely harsh group punishments for single "offenses" (all the better to triangulate with), but even though the triangulation isn't working now thanks to little sis's communication with me, the punishment is still hurting her. I'm fearful that he will start taking his anger out on her to get a reaction from me and it might escalate.
----How do I prevent this?
She's only 16 and the only kid left in the house until she graduates high school two years from now. She's an insanely hard worker and has a lot on her plate with school and babysitting, and is already showing signs of turning to alcohol to escape (much earlier than I was). I want to protect her and guide her (eventually) OOTF to prevent more scapegoating, but I feel like it's going to be impossible because she responded with fawning/codependency (in contrast to my freezing/folding).