Substance Abuse Help

[kdix]

I'm not sure where I should post this but I needed to get some advice and insight into this topic. 

Quick overview, I was with someone for four years and that caused my CPTSD.  I've been out of that situation for about 3.5 years now, but about 3 years ago I started drinking again, and then this past fall after another triggering relationship, would use other substances off and on. 

I was sober for 5.5 years and it was never difficult to quit or stay sober, and now for the last three years I have found it nearly impossible to quit.  I won't even want a drink and I will still find myself doing it especially when triggered etc.  I have tried AA and working with a therapist but it hasn't been going well.

Does anyone have any advice or insight into what helped them if they faced similar difficulties?

Thank you.

[Three Roses]

Welcome kdix! I have no expertise or insight to offer you at this time but I wanted you to at least know your post had been read and that we care about you. Keep checking back, I'm sure someone will have some insight to share with you. Thanks for joining!

[kdix]

Thank you!

[BigLew]

My SO whose CPTSD came to light after 25 to 30 years of marriage also started having alcohol abuse issues after 30 years complete sober. She had exhibited questionable behaviors for years but was high level functioning, with CPTSD lurking right below the surface all those years. Yes, there were horrible trust issues, anxieties, etc, but both of us having a strong belief in the sanctity of marriage stayed together, somehow. Anyway, my SO is managing with the help of wonderful counselors and Doctors, even though it took years before she could trust them enough to be honest with them. For the substance abuse, which is the subject of your question, she found help in group counselling and her Dr. prescribed some meds commonly used to assist patients in battling the urges of substance abuse. I urge you to see a Dr. and be honest with them about your struggles and desire to stay clean. I hope my post is not offensive, and thought you might like to know there is hope.

[FinallyDx]

I can relate to your story. The relationship I've been in for 20+ years has never been good. I started drinking years ago to block him out, to not care, to just "shut off". I went through treatment but drinking is still an issue for me. It's the buffer that allows me to deal with him I guess and (of course) that's no solution.  I'm working towards divorce now that I have finally realized what he has been doing all these years. He's a narcissist and I'm a HSP and this relationship has caused me C-PTSD.

I know I need to get away from him but divorce isn't an option for another year and a half and we financially can't support separate households right now. So he lives in one area of the house and me in another but there is still way too much contact for my taste. I have been calling him on all of the crazy things he says and tries to continue to get me to believe. I see him for what he is and I'm done. I know I need to be very guarded around him. I am on constant edge, ready to jump out of my skin. It's really stressful and drinking is my only relief it seems. It's very hard to say no to relaxation and comfort when you're in such a stressful situation.

[Three Roses]

Good insights, FinallyDx. Welcome, and thanks for posting!

[Blueberry]

Kdix, my CPTSD stems from childhood. I've had an eating disorder since way back then, but for a number of years after long-term inpatient care and then support through OA and EA I had it under control. But at some point my feelings got out of control again. Bad experience with a therapist, leading to retraumatisation. This therapist is a bit of a guru around here and her 'wisdom' is spouted around the 12 Step groups. I had to leave all that, it didn't help me any more. In fact I went crazy internally and felt like I was going to implode.

What does help me sometimes is opening up to creativity. Instead of removing things from my life, I add enjoyable aspects, like more of the 5 Senses and that reduces my hankering after food. The other thing is: I need to be aware of my feelings and of obstacles I stick in my own path. If I'm feeling anger at my ownself, I eat. Recently I came to a conclusion, but I haven't acted on it yet, so been eating and being depressed most of the week. well, since Wednesday. Time feels more slow to me than to your average adult.