Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year

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Manchesterford

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #15 on: December 25, 2016, 03:38:02 PM »
Brother and his family unable to travel so I'm staying here with my parents. 

We will do Christmas some other time.

I'm feeling it all and trying to learn from these feelings.

Love to you all x

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Contessa

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #16 on: December 25, 2016, 04:40:14 PM »
Thinking of you, and feeling for you :)

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Sienna

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #17 on: December 25, 2016, 06:21:23 PM »
Here with you Manchesterford.
Im sorry things didnt work out. You deserve to have the best christmas you can whenever you can.

Quote
Im feeling it all and trying to learn from these feelings.
That shows true strength. I always try to see everything as a means to learn from , even if *feeling strong* is not a part of those feelings. (as if happening for a reason as it helps in a way to get me through).
Feel free to use this space to talk it out, should you want to.
 :hug:

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Kizzie

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2016, 11:47:19 AM »
Sending you much support and care Manchester  :hug:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

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Manchesterford

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #19 on: December 27, 2016, 10:27:02 AM »
You are all so kind, I can't thank you enough. I spent yesterday night on the hospital floor as my Mum was afraid and didn't want me to leave. I'm exhausted and realising that sleep,  eating and routine are so essential to self care.  I miss my partner the most during this difficult time. I miss companionship,  I miss affection and I miss sharing my life.  It brings a lot up about rejection,  about not feeling good enough and feeling abandoned.  Tiredness and stress really don't help me!

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Kizzie

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #20 on: January 07, 2017, 11:58:42 AM »
How are you doing Manchesterford?  How is your mother - has she had her surgery? 
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

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Manchesterford

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2017, 03:49:55 AM »
Hey - I am exhausted.  Mum had surgery but there are complications and she is very confused and weak. We have been in the the hospital for 9 hours per day,  with an hour journey each way, for 3 weeks.

I'm trying to keep strong for my Dad.

My other half,  from whom I'm separated, wrote to me. I chose not to read the letter  as in very vulnerable. I can't face all this and cope with hearing her thoughts on the future of our relationship


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Kizzie

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #22 on: January 08, 2017, 11:40:19 AM »
Oh my dear Manchester, I am sorry this has not been the holiday you had envisioned.  FWIW I think not reading the letter is probably wise given how must stress you are dealing with, there will be time enough for that once your mother is better and you get your footing back.

I really wish there were a way to reach over the Internet and give you an actual hug, but this will have to do  :hug:   Please know I am thinking of you.   
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

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Manchesterford

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2017, 06:39:40 AM »
Thanks Kizzie! You are so kind.

Having chosen not to read the letter I got an email and can tell by the tone that she is ending our 10 year relationship. Not through lack of love but a lack of capacity on her part.  I'm. Sad and exhausted but really my focus just now is my family.

Happy 2017!

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AncientSoul

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #24 on: January 10, 2017, 09:09:11 AM »
Hi Manchesterford:

I read through your posts twice this morning. I truly hope that 2017 is bringing you a bit of comfort. Being with you mother is a great thing you are doing, and from experience, you'll later find peace in what you have been and are doing.

Much of what you said hits home with me, so I feel that I can say I understand. For me, this was the fifth Christmas alone. Similar circumstances with an ex, but other factors involving personality disorders.

That letter is a tough one. Do what you feel is best. Years ago my girlfriend broke up with me suddenly, which shocked me and everyone else that knew us. So I understand the hurt. My ex also would not respond to me. I sent a certified letter to her, as she had many of my things. The letter came back to me unopened. To get my things back, I had to go through one of her kids and it took eight months. I still have the returned letter, unopened, but I wrote that letter. I wonder why she would not read it. But that is old news and I've moved on.

An old cliche', but things do happen for a reason. The hurt does get better. And we who have been through these things, we will survive. You're so lucky to have your parents, even if they require care.

I don't know if I'm helping, but I'm rooting for you. Do what is best for yourself and what makes you feel good. Love is out there, and for some of us its difficult to find. But I've discovered that there are a lot of good people, even if finding the right one sometimes confounds us.

Talking about it here, with these kind and caring people, it really does help.

AncientSoul
AncientSoul

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Kizzie

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2017, 11:31:20 AM »
Also rooting for you Manchester  :hug:   
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - Dalai Lama

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Manchesterford

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Re: Feeling like a victim, abandoned this year
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2017, 02:52:06 PM »
Thank you for sharing Ancient Soul.  Pd's are complicated and can make wonderful people cruel and negligence in relationships.  I'm feeling hopeful but scared of the future.  But I'm coping.

Kizzie you are the best cheerleader!  Thank you.  Hope you are well x