How do you explain EF to someone else?

[RecoveryKitten]

I'm recently remarried to an great man, but during the first few months of our marriage the EF of my emotionally abusive first marriage are getting more frequent and strengthening. I want to explain EF to him so he can understand that my reactions are to the EFs and not him.
Has anyone found a good way of explaining this to a loved one?

[Three Roses]

Maybe you could find some articles online and discuss them together? There are youtube videos too, and a section on this site for family members of those of us who have cptsd. http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?board=12.0

Hope that helps.

[Ckinghelp]

How to explain Emotional flashbacks?
So most people are familiar with the concept of PTSD for soldiers. So the best understanding can be achieved in my opinion when you compare it to a soldier's experience and explain it as follows:

Like a soldier with PTSD may have experienced something tramatic in a terrible war zone with bombs gunfire etc... That situation made them legitimately feel afraid for their life, they felt panic and lots of intense emotions.  Then they come home years might go by and a balloon could pop near them and instantly they are filled with all the real feelings that they had on the battle field the fear, the feelings of danger and more... Often they can't immediately realize that the real emotions they are feeling really aren't warranted. Emotionally that balloon popping has brought all the feelings of their former trauma to the present. That soldier experienced a flashback when all his once legitimate emotions were triggered by a subconcious belief that they are back in a danger zone.

Emotional PTSD or C-PTSD is very similar. a person who experienced legitimate hurt and trauma can have a "flashback" of the fear and anxiety and more that the abuse once did. This happens when a trigger is set off.  Like the harmless "balloon popping" can cause the soldier to feel like they are back on the battle field. A person with C-PTSD might feel the full emotional weight of years of abuse rush back to them when triggered by something that reminded them of their trauma. It probably won't be a loud noise but it could be a certain phrase, or a tone of voice, or a certain situation etc...

For the person dealing with flashbacks from an abusive relationship it can be much harder than the soldier to determine if the emotions are actually a reasonable response to the situation or if the trigger was only reminding them of past hurt.


Hopefully that explanation helps

[writetolife]

This is a really interesting question.  I haven't tried to explain it to anyone other than my therapist because I'm afraid people will just think that I'm having emotions like everyone else, but I'm freaking out about them. 

However, somewhere I read an article that described them as an "emotional hijacking" and I thought that phrase was really helpful since it's like your emotions get hijacked by the past. 

[witchwomb]

However, somewhere I read an article that described them as an "emotional hijacking" and I thought that phrase was really helpful since it's like your emotions get hijacked by the past. 

That's a really great way to put it. I feel like I'm turning into the Hulk, if I had to be honest. I get this rush of rage and sometimes it goes quickly, other times it stays. I can't control when it comes and goes, but I know it doesn't feel very awesome.