naming the daemon

[macandrui]

I'm so tender today, and writing to you all may help, I'm working extra today to keep my peace. yesterday my long-suffering partner and our two sons and I were finally able to all sit together and openly talk all together about my dissociation and the ensuing episodes of domestic abuse. it's good, but painful; simple, but not easy.

but now we've given the toxin in our family a name, more can be done together to support each other on healing.

for me the best remembering is that i cannot fight the daemon with force, because it is part of me, and so it rebounds to my me-self whatever I throw at it; it eats and uses that, but can only use what I feed it, it has nothing of it's own.

If I give it the consideration of allowing it to be, with compassion and forgiveness, if I allow it to rage and feel like it's going to consume me, but I give it only breathing to eat, then it burns out without new fuel, and the charred charcoal of my childhood is smoking black embers again, but more swiftly.

for years the child in me refused to suffer anymore, so the daemon turned outward, and my little me hid in my fragile eggshell bunker, while the daemon raged without.

but now we've named it. right now i can allow it to rage in my heart, and not in my home. just for right now and right here. simply breathe here now, only that.

http://macandrui.blogspot.com/2016/06/selfies.html?m=1

[Three Roses]

"We're only as sick as the secrets we keep." ~Maria Nemeth

True for families, too. You've done a big thing! One that will set a course for your family that's more of your choosing and less of the legacy you were handed. Bravo!

[Dutch Uncle]

Wow. 
What a brave thing to do.

I hope, wish and pretty much am sure, trust, this is a huge step in your recovery process. And indeed inside the process of your family.
Wow. I take off my hat to you. 

simple, but not easy.

This is such a wonderful phrase. Thank you for reminding me of it.

to you.
Thanks for sharing.

[movementforthebetter]

Congratulations on taking a step that must have taken so much hard work to even get to the point of considering. I wish you a journey filled with healing and love. 

[sanmagic7]

a courageous step, and an admirable one, both for you and your family.  hope and healing to you all.