Last night my ic felt 'the pain'

[Boatsetsailrose]

Last night my ic was feeling the pain -
I was laying there and the compassion I felt was so good - I didn't feel self pity as I have in the past or the 'why me '

I lay there ic sad and me feeling care and compassion and being aware of the storm I've been in and how the symptoms of cptsd affect me today

I'm so grateful for all
The help I've recieved so far and my ic needs me to be there present caring and nurturing

[On the edge of hope]

How did you get to this point? 
I tend to feel self-pity way too often :-/

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hi on the edge of hope
Quote
'How did you get to this point ' well it's taken time - commitment and work
I would say that the self pity was relevant when I used to go through it - why me I used to wail - deep sadness - grief - feeling like an orphan -
Pain - lots of pain
But now I see it had to be that way it was part of healing ( even though it didn't feel that way )
I suffered a lot of depression too

So what have I done - well lots of therapy - psychotherapy and more recently work with a child trauma t
12 step programmes which I continue to do - am 5 yrs clean and sober and 6 mths abstinent from food addiction

Healing in various ways - groups - dance - art - spirituality - shamanic stuff - massage

But overall growing up - time has been a healer

Leaning how to stop abusing myself through addictions - relationship - self hatred - anger -

I needed to get angry - Lord knows I've been angry -
Beating pillows and going to spaces and screaming used to be my thing -

What do u find helpful at the mo ?

[Sienna]

Boatsetsailrose,
How lovely, the experience you talked about where you connected to your inner child.
im glad that you shared that here with us.

I was thinking reading this conversation, and thinking, that i don't think that *feeling sorry for yourself* is a bad thing. It can't go on forever or morph into something negative, but it is necessary as you said, so I'm glad you think that too, because its good to know that maybe its not just me that has these thoughts.

If know one was sorry for what happened to you before, know one in your childhood, then the person that may benefit from feeling sorry, is you- us. Maybe we owe that to our inner child, because they deserved to hear that back then, and he/she probably did think, *why me*.
That is very valid.

Its so comforting to hear you say
But now I see it had to be that way it was part of healing ( even though it didn't feel that way )
Because it doesn't feel good at all, but maybe one day, i will see that maybe it had to be that way, and maybe one day i will feel better.

And its so helpful to me to read what has helped you.
Im looking for others experience of getting through this- even if that means not all the way to the end, but i need some hope.
I hope you continue on this journey, and congratulations on your success on working / recovering / abstaining from your addictions.