The Universe speaks, Inner Child responds

[Jdog]

I recently wrote to my T that the more I am able to assist young people in their struggles, the more my inner child trusts me to rescue her also.  In a classic way, I was contacted yesterday by a young woman whom I mentored a while ago and helped enroll in college as one step toward freeing her from a family that had abandoned her.  Anyway, she got in touch and let me know how well she continues to do.  Several hours later, I got triggered by a situation at home that brought me in very close contact with my hurt inner child.  She needed for me to do for her what I routinely do for others.  I did my best, and then had to smile at the irony of the timing.

Recovering from cptsd and codependence is hard work.  But sometimes, there are breakthroughs.  The Universe appears to listen to my stories to my T and to my self talk and chooses opportunities to enter into the conversation. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

Nice to hear j dog thank u for sharing

I've only just got in touch with my ic at age 42 -
It feels good to be connected and to listen to what she needs and feels ...

[Jdog]

Good job.  Your ic appreciates it.  I didn't start conversing until age 55. 

[Boatsetsailrose]

💫🌞
So grateful - many never reach the stage we are at ---
Blessed from the darkness is the light
Whatever we have hope all ways

[Jdog]

Nicely put.  I think that working with adolescents has been a gif help in reconnecting with my younger, broken self.  And it has taken years of daily practice, both me working on myself (with help from T) and just applying myself over and over to the work.  When I am doing the most work on myself and even struggling, as I did this past week, I notice the best response from my students.  It is literally immediate feedback - they come seek me out before school and help me clean, they spend lunch time with me and let me into their circles, and they allow me to soothe them when they are agitated during instructional time.  I witnessed a girl on the autism spectrum offer support and encouragement to an older boy who was crying - and she hardly ever interacts with anyone. 

I do feel blessed, challenged, imperfect, and shot through with hope.  I am glad you are finding your way as well.  Many good thoughts to you and to everyone with cptsd and anxiety disorders who work so hard every day.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank u jdog
I 'bow my head '
It takes a lot to be human

Wonderful to hear your theraputic work and the humane connections
The gifts of peer support

[Jdog]

Thank you, and I trust that any bowing is in honor of the great potential that you yourself also possess.

[Boatsetsailrose]

I am really starting to feel it and see it as tangible
Seeing the women I have become and how much I've supported myself through such turbulent times
Each day a little more is reclaimed

[C.]

I am really appreciating this conversation.  Thank you.  Yes, sometimes, as you say, it's great to see things lining up in the universe to help one's recovery.  I think of it also as the ability to open my eyes.  Like the signs are always there, but it's up to me to open my eyes, see them, pay attention, and allow them to be a part of my life and of my recovery. 

I too love to hear about how the youth do so for you Jdog.  Being around other "single" people, participating here and a recent co-worker going through divorce seems to be helping me at the moment.  Like they're parallel to my own experience w/lessons for me to learn and share if I pay attention.

[Jdog]

So cool, how we can choose to allow our lives to teach us every single day.  I receive not only lessons but gifts every day, and this helps soften the blow of what feel like setbacks and recurring attacks of fear and panic.  Last week, when I witnessed my struggling students helping one another, I also was dealing death of a friend and feeling the horror of global terrorism.  My T says I tend to feel global events as deeply as I do the problems close at hand, and that I need to be careful and give myself plenty of TLC and soothing.  I guess this is true, but I also know that doing my work on my inner child and tolerating distress and feelings more than before opens me to the possibility of being there for others as well.

What an interesting existence.  I am giving myself a giant spiritual and physical test two weeks from today when I will run my second marathon.  I plan to learn as much as I can about myself during the run, especially during the final hour.  After 18 miles my body thinks it truly has had enough and that is when the real learning begins. Can't wait!

[Jdog]

I decided that my major goal for 2016 is to do a much better job conversing with my Inner Child.  She has been expressing herself in several ways lately and obviously needs for me to listen and soma better job addressing needs.  Along those lines, I have signed up for a series of classes designed to teach a particular Buddhist Meditation technique.  It is not the Insight Meditation which is the more common variety, but is called Kindness and Wisdom meditation. 

Does anyone have experience with using either of these approaches as a way to better listen to IC?